Fisher and Ury: negotiating by interests
A negotiation over a room, a date or a figure turns into a contest of stubbornness. What someone asks for has one solution; why they need it has several.
'We need room 305 on Thursday' is a position. 'We need a room for sixty people with a projector, in the evening' is an interest — and agreement is only possible in the second sentence.
Before your next negotiation write four lines: our interest, their likely interest, three options that would satisfy both, and what we do if there is no deal. In the conversation ask "and why does that matter?" at least once, and write the answer down.
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